ビジネス英語の本当の意味とは？

十年以上だと思いますが、ネット上で面白い記事を見つけました。最近改めて検索してみましたが、同じような記事が数多く見つかりましたので、英語圏では結構有名な記事なのかもしれません（出所不明の様です）。会社員の方々には良く理解できる内容で、苦笑いできることは確かです。いくつか日本語訳を付けてみましたので、ぜひ読んでみて下さい。

It is in process – So wrapped up in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless.（訳：処理中ですーお役所仕事に没頭しており、状況はほとんど絶望的です）
We will look into it – By the time the wheel makes a full turn we assume you will have forgotten it, too.
A program – Any assignment that can’t be completed by one telephone call.（訳：プログラムー一本の電話では完了できない仕事の事）
Expedite – To confound confusion with commotion.
Channels – The trail left by interoffice memos.
Coordinator – The guy who has a desk between two expediters.
Consultant (or Expert) – Any ordinary guy more than 50 miles from home.（訳：コンサルタント（もしくは専門家）－家から５０マイル以上離れたところにいる普通の人）
To activate – To make copies and add more names to the memo.
To implement a program – Hire more people and expand the office.
Under consideration – Never heard of it.（訳：検討中ーそんなの聞いたことありません）
Under active consideration – We’re looking in the files for it.（訳：積極的に検討中ーファイルの中を探しています）
In the earliest stage of finalization – Haven’t started it yet.
A meeting – A mass mulling by master minds.
A conference – A place where conversation is substituted by the dreariness of labor and the loneliness of thought.（訳：会議ー会話が労働の退屈さと思考の孤独さに取って代わられる場所）
To negotiate – To seek a meeting of the minds without knocking together of heads.
Re-orientation – Getting used to work again.
Reliable source – The guy you just met.（訳：信頼できる情報源ーさっき会ったばかりの人）
Informed source – The guy who told the guy you just met.（訳：情報筋ーさっき会ったばかりの人に教えた人）
Unimpeachable source – The guy who started the rumor originally.（訳：疑いようのない情報源ー最初に噂を始めた人）
A clarification – To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.（訳：明確化ー前景が背景に隠れるほど多くの詳細で背景を埋める事）
We are making a survey – We need more time to think of an answer.（訳：調査中です。ー答えを考え出すのにもっと時間が必要です）
Note and Initial – Let’s spread the responsibility for this.
Let’s get together on this – I’m assuming you are as confused as I am.
See me, or Let’s discuss – Come down to my office. I’m lonesome.
Give us the benefit of your present thinking – We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we’ve already decided to do.
We will advise you in due course – If we figure it out, we’ll let you know
To give someone the picture – A long confused and inaccurate statement to a newcomer.